Worst Ever: Comic Book to Movie Costume Translations

One of the biggest reasons for becoming a comic book fan is that the reader can in some way identify with the hero or villain, and much of that is directly tied to their costume (suit). In many instances the costume in 90% of the draw. Spiderman without his costume would just be some dude crawling around buildings, shootin’ webs…but throw on a suit and Presto! He’s instantly cool. That’s part of it too. Costumes have to look cool. As great as Batman is, he’s immensely less intriguing without his trademark cowl and cape. If the belief ‘what’s under the mask is the only thing that matters’ was true, then the way a sports car looks shouldn’t matter either. Take the engine, breaks, wheels, CPU, exhaust & transmission of a Ferrari F430 and put it inside the body of a Ford Festiva. Then ask anyone who’s dreamt about owning a Ferrari all they’re life ‘if it matters’ what the car looks like. I can unequivocally tell you it does. See comic book fans who grew up dreaming about the day they’d see their favorite characters on the Silver Screen are much like that person who dreamt about one day owning a sports car.

So when doing a movie based on a comic book, you have to follow two costume rules: Make sure the costumes look cool, and most importantly, make sure they’re accurate. There’s just no way around it, you have to get the costume right. Even the ones that may not be so practical or look funny in real life. For example, Superman. Despite being quite possibly the most iconic comic book character of all time, we’ve all made fun of his ‘underwear on top’ costume at one time or another. However, when DC Comics introduced Superman ‘Blue’ (an energy power based Superman with a blue and white suit) in 1997, the world cried foul. We didn’t care if it looked cool. It wasn’t Superman, and we all hated it. Having different suits isn’t unusual in comics either. Most characters over the decades have had some sort of alternate costume (some have dozens of them), and for the most part we like them. So it’s not the small changes in design or the addition of new costumes to the wardrobe that ruin the comic book experience, it’s those changes that are major departures from the original design that are. It’s difficult as a fan to see movie studios take our favorite comic book characters and have them don terrible looking costumes when the blue prints for what they’re supposed to look like is laid out right there on the page for them.

Here are just a few examples of movies that didn’t get it right.

Dare Devil (2003): Bullseye

The only thing I can come up with as reason for this atrocious costume’s existence is perhaps Bullseye wore his costume for sooo long that when he took off his costume the bullseye on his mask created a permanent impression on his forehead. I have no idea what the deal is with the alligator skin trench coat.

 

 

What the US Marines are currently wearing in Afghanistan.

 

Spiderman (2002): Green Goblin

Way too often directors and screenplay writers take their creative licenses and go ape sh#%. The Green Goblin is a perfect example of that. Sam Raimi had the brilliant idea (see ‘sarcasm’) of foregoing the traditional latex or cloth goblin costume, and instead go with something that looked like it came off the set of a Power Rangers taping. Maybe Raimi was trying to crank up the ‘crazy’ dial by having Norman Osborn wear a goblin inspired cyber-suit. What ever the reason, the costume not only looked nothing like what it’s supposed to look like, but it didn’t even make sense in the script! Why would the United States military commission a shiny green armor suit, with a helmet that looks like a goblin, to be built? Also, was Stark Industries not an option? I’m pretty sure Tony & Co. could do better.

 

Spiderman 3 (2007): Venom

Venom is very jacked. Venom is big. Venom is scary. Venom doesn’t need to remove the symbiote off his face to talk.

"Topher Grace?!! We do not like this".

This one is the opposite of everything I just said. I knew there was trouble brewing when Topher Grace was cast for the role of Eddie Brock. To be fair, even though Venom wasn’t as big as he should have been Grace did pack on over 20 pounds of muscle for the role, and he’s a better Venom than Tobey Maguire is Spiderman. The problem with this costume mainly lies in the cheap looking CGI effects, and Raimi’s insistence of filming the actor’s real face outside the costume constantly.

 

 

 

 

 

"Ho Ho Ho, Greeen Giant"!

Hulk (2003): Hulk

 

If you’re planning on making a movie about Hulk, you should go into it expecting to make him green. Just make sure you choose the right shade of green. This version of the Hulk practically glowed in the dark. Also, Hulk is listed between 7 and 8 feet tall. In the movie his ever-changing size at one point made him almost as tall as a utility pole! Always remember this about Hulk…He’s much bigger than Yoda, but much smaller than the Jolly Green Giant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Iron Man (2010): Ivan Vanko

Some one check my math.

 

This is a special case. Ivan Vanko wasn’t even a comic book character. He was created solely for the purpose of having a villain for the movie…because as you know Iron Man is short on enemies (again, sarcasm). He was intended to be an amalgamation of two completely different characters: Whiplash and Crimson Dynamo, both of who would have made perfect movie villains on their own.

 

X-Men (2000), X-Men 2 (2003) and X-Men 3 (2006): All the X-Men members, Magneto

Wolverine: "What's a guy gotta do to get out of wearing one of these? Break his own legs"?

The X-Men are cool for a multitude of reasons. One being that each member has a distinctive look. So what does Bryan Singer do? He basically strips them of it. We never got to see Wolverine wear his badass suit & mask, or even see Iceman ice up. Instead we were treated to an X-Men team dressed head to toe in shiny black plether. The closest thing we got to an X-Man wearing their original costume was Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Beast, but even that was due to the fact their skin is pretty much their costume.

 

 

 

"Stop right where you stand X-Men, or I shall crush you all like scrap metal"

 

 

 

Then there’s Magneto. Even though the X-Men didn’t have proper costumes, at least the actors that were cast for the core members were age-appropriate. The same couldn’t be said for Mr. Erik Lehnsherr. The decision to cast Ian McKellen was a head scratcher. In 2000 McKellen was 61 years old…an old 61. He resembled Magneto in

"Quick! Some one help me! My wheel chair is rolling down that hill"!

hair color only. Look I love Sir Ian McKellen’s work– He’s a brilliant actor – but he makes a much better Gandalf than Magneto.

 

 

 

 

 

X-Men Origins Wolverine (2009): Deadpool

“Mother…f@#%er”.

That was the thought millions of comic book fans had when Deadpool was finally revealed to us in the second half of the movie. To say he looked nothing like the comic book would be as obvious as saying fire is ‘hot’. Added to that, he was given

It's like looking into a mirror.

powers that he didn’t even have! The change in design was so dramatic that it was almost as if the director, Gavin Hood, had some grudge against the character and Marvel Comics. Deadpool’s design (created by the great Rob Liefeld) was replaced by this…this…’thing’. Even his trademark Spiderman-esque wit and one liners were completely absent. Most likely due to the fact that his mouth was sewn shut! Even if Deadpool never existed in the comics, and moviegoers were introduced to him for the first time, he would still be a terrible character in both design and execution. If each of these entries for Worst Ever were given a rank, this one would be #1.

 

 

Batman Forever (1995) and Batman & Robin (1997): Everyone

If there was a course in college you could take on ‘How Not to make a Comic book movie’ Joel Schumacher’s Batman movies would be required course material. The course would also have the least attended classes because it would mean students would have to watch hours and hours of Batman Forever and Batman & Robin. Since there is so much content to write about in detail, I’ll just briefly touch on the design problems with each costume.

Batman: An insane amount of built-in muscles, and nipples…need I say more.

Robin: Same as above.

Those nipples. Must...look...away...

 

 

The Riddler: The Joker is the one who is supposed to be colorful, flamboyant and looney. Someone didn’t get the memo. Also, what the f@#% was up with his hair?!

Two-face: Billy Dee Williams played Harvey Dent (aka Two-face) in the first Batman. The problem is Two-face is supposed to be white. So they switched it up on us, ok, no big deal. That just means the next time we see Harvey Dent he’ll obviously be black, right? Nope. In

Tommy: "Jim, we need to get new agents".

Batman Forever (which was a continuation of Tim Burton’s Batman movies) Harvey Dent was played by Tommy Lee Jones…a very white guy. Ok, ok, so they screwed up the continuity. When Harvey Dent becomes Two-face does he at least get a decent suit? Um, how about we see if The Riddler has anything he’s not using? I hear he’s a good dresser.

 

Batgirl: Same as Batman and Robin, but with less defined nipples…sad really.

Poison Ivy: She’s supposed to look sexy and sultry, not like a drag queen.

Bane: The words escape me. Think Toxic Avengers meets the Incredible Hulk.

Mr. Freeze: Mr. Freeze is supposed to be a man with a relatively normal physique who wears a containment suit. What he’s not is RoboCop’s arch nemesis. Rather than cast an actor who would closely resemble the

This was allowed to happen.

traditional look of a middle-aged scientist, Schumacher chose Arnold Schwarzenegger. That’s right, the Terminator. Take that, mix it with a ridiculous looking suit, and viola!

 

If these past transgressions have taught us anything it’s that movie makers should respect the source material they’re borrowing from, and as best they can, keep things faithful the way their creators had intended. Comic books are art. They have left indelible marks in the hearts of their readers. You wouldn’t paint a mustache and goofy glasses on the Mona Lisa, and like that, you shouldn’t do full CGI body paint for Green Lantern’s costume.

Booya!…got that one in just in time.

 

 

July, 5th 2011, Ed Reyes and Ben Rosado

 

 

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